Today, I had a meaningful conversation with a friend about dating with intention and the journey toward potential marriage. The discussion Her and I had inspired me to share my thoughts on dating with intention, the journey toward being “Marriage Ready”, and the importance of values. This really got me thinking about how this process has not only made me a better man but also deepened my understanding of true manhood.
As a man, there comes a time when you start to see relationships differently. It’s no longer about fleeting connections or surface-level attraction it’s about finding… Hmm, let’s call her... Well, “Her”. The woman who will challenge you, inspire you, and walk beside you as you build a life together. The one who aligns with your values and helps you become the best version of yourself as you help her do the same.
For me, this shift in perspective came when I realized that dating with intention isn’t just about finding the right woman, it’s also about becoming the right man. The adventure towards a meaningful relationship and the role of shared values don’t just shape the partnership; they shape “YOU”! They push you to grow, to reflect, and to rise to the occasion of being the kind of man who can lead, love, and support the woman you choose, in the way she deserves.
But beyond that, this journey has also redefined what manhood means to me. It’s taught me that being a man isn’t only about strength or independence, and all typical “Man Shit” it’s about responsibility, emotional maturity, and the ability to create a safe and loving environment for the people you care about.
Dating with Intention: A Path to Growth and Manhood
Dating with intention isn’t just about finding someone to share your life with, it’s about approaching relationships with purpose and clarity. It’s about being honest with yourself and your potential partner about what you want and what you’re willing to give.
For me, dating with intention has been a journey of self-discovery and growth, and it’s also been a key part of understanding what it means to be a man. Here’s how:
1. It Forces You to Take Responsibility
Dating with intention means taking responsibility for your actions, your choices, and your future. It’s about being clear about your intentions and following through on your commitments. This sense of responsibility is a cornerstone of manhood, it’s about owning your life and being accountable for the way you show up in relationships.
2. It Teaches You to Lead with Integrity
As a man, I’ve learned that leadership in a relationship isn’t about control, it’s about integrity. It’s about being honest, dependable, and consistent in your actions. Dating with intention has taught me to lead with my values and to create a relationship dynamic that is built on trust and mutual respect.
3. It Challenges You to Be Emotionally Available
True manhood isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s about understanding and expressing them in a healthy way. Dating with intention can push you to be more vulnerable, to communicate openly, and to create a safe space for emotional connection. This emotional availability is what allows a man to truly connect with his partner on a deeper level.
4. It Pushes You to Be a Protector and Provider
While modern relationships are built on equality, I’m a bit “Old School” in some of my beliefs, and a part of being a man is stepping into the role of protector and provider, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually. Dating with intention has helped me understand that being a provider isn’t about control or dominance; it’s about creating a sense of security and stability for my woman.
5. It Helps You Define Your Purpose
Manhood is deeply tied to purpose. When you’re dating with intention, you’re not just looking for a partner, you’re building a life with this woman. This process has helped me clarify my purpose, not just as an individual, but as a future husband and potential father. It’s given me a sense of direction and a reason to strive for greatness.
The Role of Values in Attracting “Her”
Values are the foundation of any meaningful relationship. They guide how we live, how we make decisions, and how we treat others. When it comes to attracting “Her”, shared values are non-negotiable for me.
But beyond that, values are also a key part of what it means to be a man. Here’s how:
1. They Define Your Character
A man’s values are a reflection of his character. They show what he stands for and what he’s willing to fight for. By living according to my values, I’ve been able to build a sense of integrity and self-respect that I believe is essential for any man.
2. They Guide Your Leadership
As a man, I want to lead in my relationship, not in a controlling way, but in a way that provides stability and direction. My values are what guide my leadership, helping me make decisions that are fair, thoughtful, and aligned with my long-term goals.
3. They Hold You Accountable
Living by your values isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. If I want to attract a woman who shares my values, I need to embody those values in my own life. This accountability has pushed me to be more consistent, disciplined, and true to myself.
4. They Shape the Legacy You Want to Leave
Manhood isn’t just about the present, it’s about the future. My values influence the kind of man and role model I want to be. They shape the legacy I want to leave for my family and the world.
How This Journey Has Redefined My Manhood
At its core, dating with intention and attracting “Her” isn’t just about finding the right partner, it’s about becoming the best version of myself. Here’s how this process has redefined what manhood means to me:
1. It’s Made Me More Accountable
I’ve learned that being a man means taking responsibility for my actions, my growth, and my future. This journey has taught me to own my mistakes, learn from them, and strive to be better every day.
2. It’s Taught Me the Power of Vulnerability
True manhood isn’t about being invulnerable—it’s about being brave enough to open up, to connect, and to love deeply. This process has shown me that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
3. It’s Helped Me Embrace My Role as a Protector and Provider
Being a man means creating a safe and loving environment for the people you care about. Whether it’s emotional support, financial stability, or simply being present, I’ve learned that manhood is about showing up and providing for those you love.
4. Added To My Sense of Purpose
Dating with intention has helped me define my purpose, not just as an individual, but in all of the roles I fill in the world. It’s given me a reason to grow, to strive, and to become the man I know I’m capable of being.
The Journey Toward Becoming “Marriage Ready”:
Marriage is more than just a commitment; it’s a partnership that requires effort, growth, and a willingness to put someone else’s needs alongside your own. For me, the journey toward becoming “Marriage Ready” isn’t just about finding the right woman, it’s about becoming the right man, not just for “her”, but for yourself.
Here’s how this journey has shaped my understanding of manhood:
1. It’s Taught Me the Importance of Sacrifice:
Being a man in a relationship means being willing to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own when necessary. This doesn’t mean losing yourself, it means being selfless in a way that strengthens the partnership. I believe true manhood is about service, not selfishness.
2. It’s Helped Me Embrace Emotional Strength:
Emotional strength isn’t about bottling up your feelings, it’s about being resilient, empathetic, and supportive. I’ve learned that being a man means being a source of strength for my partner, especially during difficult times.
3. It’s Made Me More Intentional About My Actions:
Knowing that I’m working toward something meaningful has made me more intentional in every area of my life. From how I spend my time and sexual energy, to how I treat others, I’ve become more focused on living in a way that reflects the kind of husband, brother, uncle , friend and father I want to be.
4. It’s Strengthened My Commitment to Growth
Marriage isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong journey. I’ve realized that I need to be committed to growing, not just for myself, but for “her”. Whether it’s improving my communication skills, working on my patience, or becoming more financially responsible, I want to be the kind of man who is always striving to be better.
Closing Thoughts
Dating with intention, and attracting “Her” have been transformative for me, not just as a man open to attracting a partner, but as a man striving to grow and redefine what manhood means.
I’ve come to realize that true manhood isn’t ALL about dominance or independence, it’s about responsibility, integrity, and the ability to create a life of love, purpose, and meaning.
When you find her, you’ll know, and sometimes you just have to be patient enough to wait until “She” knows.
Stay Masculine! 💪🏽
J.Moreno🖤☠️
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